The Meaning of Life

Hello, I hope you are doing great! 

I had the pleasure of sitting down with Arthur Brooks this week.  Arthur is a Harvard professor and author of the popular Atlantic column “How to Build a Life.”  His new book is entitled “From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life.” 
 

Arthur has spent years studying what makes us happy.  His book is fascinating. He posits how most of us start to slow down professionally, typically in our 40s and 50s.  Our fluid intelligence – processing speed – dulls.  We push harder and harder and get frustrated that we aren’t quite as fast and productive.  At the same time, our successes have diminishing returns on our emotional state.  He describes an incredibly accomplished man in the twilight of his life who is miserable and feels like a complete failure. 
 

But there’s a second intelligence curve that grows as the other diminishes – crystallized intelligence.  It’s when you can take different data points and put them together into a picture and then convey it simply to others.  It makes one a better coach, or mentor, or teacher. Some might call it wisdom.  That curve goes up as fluid intelligence goes down.  
 

Arthur advises finding a way to get on this different curve.  He took his own advice, becoming a professor and author and stepping away from running a very prestigious thinktank in D.C. 
 

What makes people happy as they age?  Relationships and feeling useful.  The most important things are real friendships and close family relationships.  Real friendships are those that are intrinsic – no value changes hands except for the friendship itself. 
 

There's a lot more.  I read Arthur’s book with great interest.  I just turned 47.  I’ve made a few major professional switches myself.  Unhappy attorney, failed entrepreneur, startup CEO, nonprofit founder, presidential candidate, political figure, etc.  I pride myself in being able to shift gears.  
 

At the same time, as one’s responsibilities grow, making a change is that much harder.  And I sometimes have found myself too tired to be truly present for friends and even family this past number of years.  With each example, I’ve thought, “Well, this will pass after the campaign is over.”  But there is always another figurative campaign or urgent project or timeline.   
 

Arthur’s book closes with some word to live by: 

Use things.

Love people.

Worship the divine. 

He says that we often mess up the order into:

Use people.

Love things.

Worship ourselves. 

He also believes that politics has taken the place of the divine or spiritual for far too many Americans who are looking for meaning.  It's one thing that's driving polarization.   
 

One of his findings is that people often either discover or rediscover their relationship with God or spirituality as they age.  This happened with his wife who re-engaged with her own faith.  This was news to me, but it makes sense.  Religion has taken on a bigger role in my life now that I have a family.  And as you get older, the meaning of life adopts a different type of urgency. 
 

I found Arthur to be a very wise man.  There's much more to his point-of-view.  Check out my interview with him here and you can buy his latest book here. 
 

I try to take action when I learn something new.  My immediate adjustment in seeking the meaning of life?  Call my Mom more often.